


For I Will Mourn You All the Days of My Life

by Benedicthiddleston



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Angst, Council of Vere, Hurt/Comfort, I had to get it out, M/M, Soldiers, This has been stuck in my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7175000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedicthiddleston/pseuds/Benedicthiddleston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Damen dreams of Laurent's death. Laurent tries to calm him. He is there; he will always be there. They will always be together. Together, forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For I Will Mourn You All the Days of My Life

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine and mine alone. No beta-read. I don't own anything. Just an emotionally compromised fan.

How exactly they had gotten to this point, Damen would never quite know. He knew the facts and knew just how much an idiot the Prince of Vere was, but he would not understand, attach any meaning to, this travesty if he didn’t get to be heroic. He was having a hard time grasping the knowledge needed to figure out what was going on inside the Prince of Vere’s mind. Cold, calculating, sixteen steps ahead of everyone else. And somehow, _somehow_ Laurent had gotten it into his blonde head that he needed to sacrifice himself for the greater good. More specifically: for Damen. Even more narrowly: the late Auguste, Prince of Vere.

Damen shivered from the crippling memories at Kingsmeet. He would have rather died after killing the Regent – which Damen had been very confident he could have done it, an exchange of lives so to speak – rather than be in chains once again in Ios just to make sure Laurent didn’t get his head dispatched from the rest of his gangly body.

There had been a moment in Kingsmeet when Damen had realized just how much he _needed_ Laurent. It had been at the exact moment when Laurent had _willingly, stupidly, emotionally_ stepped in front of the Regent and begged for the life of the prince-killer. In retrospect, Damen could have stopped Laurent. Had he listened from the exact second they stepped into the Kingsmeet, maybe he would never have become so emotionally charged and manage to almost lose his own head in the process. He could have left – he could have let the Regent goad Laurent in private, speaking of the unspeakable with a boy mourning the loss of his best friend, his better half, his own brother. Maybe if Damen had actually listened, Laurent would not have had to sacrifice himself.

But that had been Laurent’s plan from the very beginning. To eventually resign to the will of his traitorous uncle.

And now here they were, in the exact spot Laurent had prophesied. A trial to smear his name, bring him lower than the lowest, and then make him the public spectacle in the Akielon capital public square.

Damen struggled as a low voice that echoed in the entire hall sealed Laurent’s fate:

"You have been found guilty of treason. You are stripped of your title, the crown, your place in line for the throne, your status, and your own being. The price for committing treason is death.”

"As we are a merciful Council, your death shall be quick.” The Councilman looked towards the Regent, looking for his guidance.  

The Regent's eyes were cold and calculating. "Run him through."

Damen let out an anguished cry as everything happened in slow motion. Laurent seemed to jerk in his bindings, three soldiers surrounding him. Two held him tight in their grasp as the third unsheathed his sword.

The world came to a crawl as Damen felt even more soldiers attempt to hold him back. He hadn't even realized he was straining to get to Laurent, to stop what was achingly about to happened.

Each second turned out to be forever as Damen watched the third solider draw back his arm and Laurent standing so still, even his chest did not seem to move. In a last ditch effort, Laurent attempted to drop to his knees, to put the sword anywhere but his organ-filled torso, agony awaiting him. But the guards held tight, keeping him begrudgingly standing as a Veretian sword slammed into the pale white skin of the treasonous Prince of Vere. It entered just below his sternum, crushing through his diaphragm, nicking blood vessels filled with the rapid pulse of blood from Laurent's own fastidious heart, lacerating stomach, pancreas, liver, and blood - blood everywhere. The sword came out his back, demolishing the spine, red blood dripping as the soldier who did the deed sneered at Laurent's perfect face and spit.

Damen screamed as Laurent's body no longer stood on two strong legs, Laurent gasping painfully as the soldiers released him and he fell hard to his knees, body shaking at the pain and numbness of his own execution.

Laurent stilled, eyes glazing over. He gave a shuddering breath and then gracelessly listed to the left, his body hitting the marble floor, blood _everywhere_. The soldier who had done the deed kicked the dying Prince’s body over and grasped the hilt of his sword. Laurent made no sound as the foreign object was wrenched from his macerated body. With crushing finality, Laurent seemed to sigh one last time, eyes open and unseeing, blood bubbling out of his mouth and coursing down his cheek.

Damen screamed in agony, Laurent’s name on his lips. “Laurent! LAURENT!!!”

He blacked out, only to come back to himself with arms holding him back. He jerked, gasping as he saw familiar golden hair and the still-breathing form of his lover. _Laurent._

The arms gripped him harder, his reaction a moan of defeat as he realized he could not escape. He soon realized that Laurent was back in the same position as before: death was coming. Damen had wanted to prevent this tragedy, not rush it forward. Laurent didn’t deserve to die. He couldn’t be a self-sacrificing dick. Damen was not going to allow it! He attempted to struggle away from the soldiers holding him fast to a spot too far from where Laurent stood, but it was of no use. Everything was hopeless. _Hopeless_.

Laurent, already a pale Veretian, seemed to pale further in his spot. But he did not waver, holding his head up high as his sentence was passed upon his tired bones, exhausted muscles, and accepting demeanor. He was doing this for Damen. At least, that was what he thought. Of course, the idiot had then come straight to Ios and gotten himself captured by Kastor’s men. Now his sacrifice would be fruitless. And Damen would watch his unwavering commitment to follow this through.

The black cloth settled on the scepter and the Council of Vere formally passed death upon the now downtrodden treasonous Prince. Laurent was shoved to his knees, to bow to the merciful council that was about to send him off to his public death.

“Immediately following these proceedings, Laurent of Vere will be taken to the public square and beheaded as an example to others, to deter treason and further decline and ruin of the great King of Vere. All bow to the King!”

Damen watched in mournful horror as Laurent’s head was pushed to the ground, forced prostration to the man who had raped his lonely nephew and was now going to have said nephew’s head.

The whole hall bowed – except for Kastor. He continued to sit on the throne, eyes piercing through Damen’s soul, seemingly saying, “And this shall be your end, just as I have won both Vere and Akielos. Kiss your precious bed thing goodbye.”

It happened so fast. One moment the whole hall was bowing, and the next the Council motioned for Laurent to be taken to the public square. Damen let out a shout, anger coursing through his veins. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair…

Damen found himself shoved to his knees once again, this time his hair yanked back forcefully so his eyes rested upon the almost translucent skin of the tattered Prince-turned-traitor standing before a raging crowd on a raised platform.

Laurent, eyes seemingly unseeing past a spot somewhere in the back of the crowd, listened half-heartedly as his sentence was proclaimed to the citizens of Ios. The crowd roared in approval of the coming attraction. Damen felt his heart constrict, watching as Laurent knelt without being forced. He knew the love of his life had given up hope of a rescue. This was his sacrifice. His repayment for past wrongs.

The Regent, never to be called King by Damen himself, sat just behind the platform, Kastor beside him. They both looked unconcerned. The trial had just been a show. This was the dessert and the cherry on top. Murder the not-yet-of-age prince and take the throne. Make contention through-out both kingdoms and revel in it. It made Damen want to throw up. He knew that once Laurent was dead, all eyes would be on him. And he would meet the same fate after a time. He could only assume that Kastor regretted letting him live. But they had still won. Laurent was about to die, and Damen would watch it while his heart broke into a million tiny fragments, rolling away like the leaves off the apple tree, blood seeping out like the severed arteries of Laurent’s beautifully bared neck.

Someone had placed a silken cloth on the platform, somehow believing it would help assist the traitor to bow and bare his neck for the sword. Laurent saw it and briefly closed his eyes in regret and a touch of fear. He opened them up and did the only thing he knew he had to do: bow.

Everything slowed to a crawl as Damen watched Laurent gracefully bow, his forehead resting lightly on the silken cloth. His hands rested on his back, the chains encircling his wrists weighing him down and keeping him from struggling. Damen could only hope Laurent knew he was there, knew he would always be there, in life – and in death.

The Executioner seemed to walk in slow motion, coming to stand beside the prostrated prisoner. The sword was in hand and carefully eyed to slice through the center of Laurent’s delicate neck. It briefly touched, and then it was brought up.

Damen heard himself scream in anguish, his eyes watching the sword come down and in an instant a stunned body dropping headless where it knelt. Laurent’s head rolled slightly to the right and rested on the cloth, red everywhere. The death was quick and clean, the stroke even and faultless. His eyes had been, mercifully, closed, face devoid of all emotion – no fear, no pain, no sorrow, nothing to portray a man holding an inner battle within himself. He gave his life freely. Damen mourned for the soul of such a man, one Damen hoped to meet in the afterlife, whenever he too reached that world.

The executioner grabbed the beautifully tousled strands and lifted the head of the traitorous prince for all to feel the warning held tight in the echo of the execution. The crowd roared in approval.

Damen felt his body sink to the ground, powerless to fight the soldiers who would take him back to his cell and force him to kneel for death sooner rather than later. Laurent was gone; with him, Damen’s sense of being drifted away into a place he could only follow through in death. All hope was lost. All had been defeated.

* * *

Damen woke up in a nervous rush, mouth dry, body covered in a cold sweat. The bedsheets around him were soaked. His hair was soaked and he couldn’t catch his breath. He had awoken slowly, trapped within his own mind. And then he had woken up, seeming to gasp for air.

Every image, every detail was fresh in his mind and his heart began to ache, racing out of his chest as he willed himself not to believe any of it. His eyes flew to the other side of the bed, the familiar shape and languid limbs of his beloved absent from the sheets. Damen’s heart lodged in his throat, and he couldn’t speak. _Laurent?!!!_

He scrambled out of bed so fast, he ended up a tangled mess of limbs on the ground, his lungs gasping. “Laurent?” It came out weak and pitiful. Where was the love of his life, the one he made sweet love to? Who had _not_ died that fateful day two years before? Who had brought Vere and Akielos together when they had both been on the brink of war, even with the Regent and Kastor’s deaths?

And why was Damen having these dreams again? He hadn’t had such a vivid, most disturbing nightmare of the like in over twenty two months. He had suffered from the nightmares shortly after the aftermath of the retaking of Ios and Kastor’s death at the hands of Laurent. They had mostly been induced by the drugs used to keep him comfortable as his abdominal wound healed, Laurent at his side all day and all night for two weeks. Why they were reoccurring now, Damen did not have time to reflect.

He pushed himself up off the floor, eyes squinting into the darkness that seemed to engulf him. Was he truly awake? “Laurent?!” He attempted to call again, his voice only a bit stronger.

Hands found his face milliseconds later, a soothing voice calming him down almost instantaneously. “I am here. I am here.”

Damen collapsed back to the floor, his back settling against the bed frame. He reached up, grasping Laurent’s arms and holding tight. “You’re alive. You’re alive. You are okay,” Damen choked out, tears threatening to fall. Laurent was safe and sound. The nightmare hadn’t been true.

“Of course I am okay. Whatever gave you the idea I wasn’t?” Laurent gently rubbed a thumb under Damen’s eye, wiping away a tear, the wetness starting to drip faster.

Damen felt his heart constrict. “Death. So much – so much death.”

The hands holding Damen’s face minutely stiffened, the whole of Laurent’s body on the defensive.

Damen couldn’t get any words out, his hands reaching to weave themselves into the familiar mat of hair. He couldn’t open his eyes, couldn’t bear to relive the nightmare if he looked at Laurent’s face. He shivered as he mapped Laurent out with his fingers, recognizing each bump, each strand of hair, every little area that was unique to Laurent. He had spent two years getting the perfect image of his lover in his mind, through many nights in bed and thousands of ministrations over each and every day. He had memorized Laurent’s body. As he felt the familiarity of his precious lover’s head now, so soon after his mental trauma, he finally broke.

His hands dropped, his voice broken as he finally spoke.

“I watched you die.”

Laurent finally understood, his hands holding tight to Damen’s face. The silence hung for what felt like forever, but Laurent finally was able to speak. “I am here. I will always be here. In life, in death, in whatever form I must take to give you strength and love and happiness.”

“I can’t lose you,” Damen whispered.

“You will never lose me.”

“I hated him so much,” Damen whispered, his heart aching. Now he knew why the nightmares had returned. Talk had recently come back around about those loyal to the Regent coming back to exact revenge on the Kings of Akielos and Vere. Laurent had been handling most of the talk, dealing with backlash and setting up explicit rules that governed the handling of traitors loyal to the executed Regent. Any uprising had been squashed quite effectively by the firm hand of King Laurent.

Laurent sighed, gently moving his hands to hold Damen’s in his own. He squeezed affectionately, giving a brave smile, keeping his voice light, as always. “The past is behind us. The nightmare has passed. We are moving forward, and nothing will break us apart.”

Damen finally opened his eyes, seeing Laurent as clear as day. Nothing had changed. Everything had changed. The long blond hair, the sparkling blue eyes, and the pale ghost of someone beaten until they were bruised and broken. But Laurent had overcome and was better off now more than ever. There was a brightness to his eyes, a spring in his step, and love in his voice. Laurent had found his true love. And Damen had found his.

Damen none-to-gently dragged Laurent into his lap, pulling his lover in for a long, drawn out kiss. The familiar taste of Laurent, his arousing smell of cinnamon and sweet lilies in the fall, and the gentle but firm touch of foreheads finally gave way to Damen’s relaxed state. Everything about Laurent gave Damen a reason to dip into the deep embrace of their love. They were inseparable.

The kiss ended as Laurent dipped his head, nose trailing down to Damen’s shoulder and giving sweet, lover-like kisses slowly up the side of his neck.

“I love you,” Laurent ghosted over Damen’s ear, hands idly massaging Damen’s back, trailing down further and further to the soft exposed bum they both knew so intimately.

Damen laughed, a breathless, beautiful sound. “I will love you forever.”

Laurent brought his lips back to Damen’s own and they kissed again. The nightmare forgotten, the gruesome memories pushed back into the recesses of Damen’s mind as the love and passion for Laurent became much stronger. For love would always overcome evil, even in death.

**Author's Note:**

> Had to write this, get it out of my head. It didn't turn out 100% like I saw it in my mind, but ugh, ever since finishing the CP series right before a three night shift work stretch, I basically had 72 hours to dwell on how much I fucking love these characters and the angst and the perfection and the legit emotions I have been feeling.


End file.
